I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
