I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
