So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize