So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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