I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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