How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
where are you?
Hypothermia
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The adults are the big ones right?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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