i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
