So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
