I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
ttyl tear gas
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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