can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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