OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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