she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
