Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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