i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
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