At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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