The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
