I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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