Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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