i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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