She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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