final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
