Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
