oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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