I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
