Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
