I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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