Need sex. Gaining weight.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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