The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize