god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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