I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize