i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
