Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
