My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
