Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize