I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
