so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
