it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My ass is underappreciated
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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