Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
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