Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
