its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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