oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
