after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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