Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
