He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
