bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
