So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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