like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
