No awkward lesbian experiences without me
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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