For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
