office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
