I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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