You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i've created a new STD.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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