I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
