U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize