Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
