It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
