How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Duck Duck Cougar?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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