Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
