Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
