ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
