I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
