Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
