So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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